| Mark 9:28-29 | And when he was come into the house, his disciples asked him privately, Why could not we cast him out? And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting. KJV Ok, here’s the thing I’ve been struggling with lately, and to no one’s surprise, I’m sure, it was the subject of my bible reading today. It all started because I had a bad cold and lay (lie, layed) in bed for 2 days. I had what my friend “S” is calling, “my deathbed revelations.” I had several sick babies in the bed with me to love on as well and as I loved on them and adored their sweet sleeping faces (because, truthfully, when they are sleeping is the only time sick babies are sweet) I wondered about the life I was “giving” (facilitating them through?) them. The thing is…we say we love God, and trust Him, but we don’t really live this out like we probably could. Hang with me…I AM getting to a point! I personally have been struggling with the same “besetting sins” for years. I have observed this to be true of those around me in this house too. Not being judgmental, mind you, just noticing it, that’s all. I would like to be free, free indeed from these sins that I fall back on and use to excuse my behavior toward the others that I live with. It’s not actually very hard to throw off these sins with others outside my home. It’s just mostly inside where they are a problem. Big Problems nonetheless. So why do you suppose I am still plagued? Study the verse above. The question I asked myself…the deathbed revelation…is this, “Am I, are we, REALLY living the life of faith we confess to believe?” Does our faith show. And not for the show of it…but if you live it, it will show. Do we pray? For others, for ourselves, on our face praying? For our marriage? For our children? For salvation of others? For forgiveness. Though I realize there are those who think you don’t need to pray for this more than the one time and God does and has forgiven once and forever. That’s theology and I’m prone to debate. So, to cut through the talk, I don’t pray, read the word, study, fast, nothin’, like I should! And I have no excuse. And I should start NOW! Wanna join me? |
February 27th, 2008
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January 23rd, 2008
Mark and Luke are gone out to some distribution center for stuff Mark needs at work. I’m always glad when he get to spend one on one time with his children. Especially the boys. Seems “hebrew-ish” somehow. I need to remember not to be grouchy about letting them go out with him. Sometimes I say no without thinking. Or thinking I need them here helping me more. But they should go. I’m not drinking near enough water. Or enough of anything for that matter. And I still haven’t started walking yet. I haven’t had my Dr. Pepper a day in 2 weeks now. Just 2 in that same amount of time. Not losing a pound yet. I must still be eating too much.Jake is out for Spanish/guitar day. He leaves at 9am with the R family, they go to violin, then to spanish class, then to guitar. Sometimes they wait for him and sometimes we pick up. I’m not sure yet today which it will be. I miss him when he’s gone though.The others are playing. The baby was sleeping. Not anymore. Gotta go.
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January 16th, 2008
I do that…a lot. Everyday for the most part. Is this a good thing or a failing of some sort? One would think that once you had turned the leaf, you would move on. And then there are days where I don’t even feel like turning over the said leaf. I kinda wanna wallow in it…whatever “it” is. That’s how I feel today. I just want to drink the coffee and do the things I need to do. No moral high ground involved. Probably because of the failure part. I hate it. But God said, “Choose ye this day…”. Which means I must turn the leaf. Turn from the sin. Some days the leaf just weighs to much to turn quite honestly. Lord help me with this leaf.
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